As most of you know, I hate birthdays. Well, to be more accurate, I used to. This year, it seems more like a minor inconvenience. I’m not sure why birthdays have seemed so absolutely horrid to me this past.. well… decade, but they have.

I remembered my 15th birthday today. The day before, I had performed my piece, Chanson et Passepied by Jeanine Rueff at the district high school solo & ensemble festival. As a freshman at a school where 9th graders were still in the “junior high”, I was given the option of compete at either the junior high or high school level. I chose high school. I was very proud of this piece. It was a college piece. I was a freshman. I was cool.

I played it, and played it well. I mean, I didn’t sound like Larry Teal or anything, but for a 14 year old, I played it pretty damn well. After I had finished, the adjudicator looked from the music to me, and then back again, and stated, “a freshman shouldn’t play this piece,” and gave me a “II”. These competitions rated the performers on a scale of I-IV, with a I being the highest.

I got a “II”.

I went home and wouldn’t speak to anyone. I hid. I stared at the blank wall. I felt like I was going to die.

The next day was my birthday. We went out to dinner. My parents, sister, aunt (my accompanist), uncle and my grandfather. I wasn’t in the mood. I hated attention anyway, but birthdays were usually horrible. I begged my family not to make a big deal out of it, not to tell the server at the restaurant, and please please please.. don’t sing.

I got up and went to the bathroom. When I came back, I sat down and everyone was smiling. I saw out of the corner of my eye, the entire wait staff of the restaurant coming to our table in a line. I heard them clapping. I heard them singing. I saw the piece of chocolate mousse pie with a candle in it. They set it in front of me, smiling that fake “I get paid $5.00/hr, plus tips of course” smile and looked at me expectantly.

I stared at the pie, at the candle flickering and felt a thick fog fall over me as I looked up at my beaming family and said:

“I just want every one of you to know that I hate you, and will never forgive you for this.”

Umm.. this year is better